Have you ever felt the fear of changing something about your identity, that you no longer identify with? Apparently, this is a common internal conflict especially when you are running towards or just entered your 30s.
Remember those all-night parties and how you still managed to make it to work the next day? I do. They haven’t taken much toll on my health back then. But they do now. Gone are those days when my metabolism was high and my stress levels low.
All that I endure lately is bad stomach, anxiety, inefficiency and lethargy. Staying up all night, eating whatever junk I feel like, partying and making impulsive plans are a few things that are not working well for me anymore.
Growing to be a better person is an important part of adulthood
I started becoming paranoid that I am getting old and I couldn’t accept that. I feared that I am slipping into being a boring adult. And so, I tried and tried without giving up, until one day I realized, not only my mental and physical health were getting screwed up but also, I don’t enjoy doing them anymore.
It was more like I was challenging myself and making sure that I was still that young and impulsive person, that I used to be. I perceived it to be my identity and I was scared to lose it.
As I pondered on it furthermore, I came to an understanding with myself. I don’t want to go somewhere unplanned, impulsively anymore. I don’t enjoy eating random junk anymore. I don’t enjoy staying up all night anymore. I don’t enjoy partying like crazy anymore. Yes, I am a boring adult now. So be it. I am growing to like it.
A great daily routine is the start for a finer quality of life
My husband usually leads a very systematic lifestyle. He eats consciously, works out and manages his time very productively. He encourages me to do the same, but I used to blame him for trying to turn me into a nerd like him :p But the fact is I secretly wished I was more like him. I was just lying to myself that I enjoyed things which I actually didn’t.
After a bit of self-contemplation, I figured that I relish different things now. A systematic routine is what I prefer now. A productive day without any aches or lethargy is what makes me feel good now.
Learning to embrace your age is essential
By writing this blog I am coming to peace with myself, that it’s ok to grow old, it’s ok to not be the same person and it’s okay to not like the same things as earlier. I am learning to embrace my age. I am definitely becoming a better person now and I am happy about it.
Besides, there are a lot more rewarding activities that I can take up. Picking up a new hobby, becoming an expert at something, becoming fitter and healthier, are a few things to start with. It’s all about self-perception and the story we tell ourselves about who we are becoming with the passing of time. The transition is a bit difficult and confusing but once you come to an understanding with it, you will be a much more peaceful and a happier person.
All I am trying to say is, talk to yourself, and figure out what you truly genuinely enjoy doing and only do that. Do things that your 40-year-old self would thank you for. Don’t do anything because everybody is doing it or you are supposed to enjoy it. It sure brings heartaches sometimes but also bliss most of the times. That’s the duality of life.